With the London 2012 Summer Olympics in full swing, one’s thoughts naturally turn to certain topics, such as “Would St. Paul have been better at track or fencing?”
Mike Hickerson (@mhick) August 03, 2012
To save you the time, I’ve assembled a helpful list of men and women from the Bible and matched them with the appropriate Olympic sport.
Let’s start with the people who would have been good at their sports.
- David – Hammer Throw. This seems like the most similar to using a sling, right?
- Samson – Weight Lifting. Too easy.
- Joseph – 100m Sprint. Joseph, of dreamcoat fame, was so fast that he could run out of his own clothes.
- Mark – 200m Sprint. Ditto. Seriously, what is up with guys in the Bible running out of their clothes?
- Deborah – Judo. You didn’t want to mess with Deborah.
- Peter – Swimming (100m Freestyle). I don’t know how fast a Galilean boat full of fish could move, but Peter’s swimming victory still seems impressive.
- Miriam – Steeplechase. Staying close to your baby brother’s Nile-borne basket couldn’t have been easy.
But not everyone’s a winner in the Olympics. So here are a few less-than-triumphant competitors.
- King Saul – Javelin. He doesn’t seem to have been the most skilled with this weapon, which was good for David.
- Jonah – Diving. With everything else Jonah did wrong, the least he could have done is jumped overboard himself.
- Absalom – Equestrian (any event). If you can’t even ride a mule without getting your hair caught in a tree, I wouldn’t recommend dressage. Though the hats might have helped.
Do you have any suggestions to add?