Casting the Dark Gilligan’s Island

Christian Bale as Gilligan

The three-hour tour has not been kind to Gilligan…

Isn’t the world ready for a remake of Gilligan’s Island? Not just any remake, either, but a dark remake, along the lines of Battlestar Galactica or Christopher Nolan’s Batman. Here’s who I would cast:

  • Gilligan: Christian Bale, at his Machinist weight
  • The Skipper: Jeff Bridges
  • The Professor: Russell Crowe – as time progresses, the Professor can sink into A Beautiful Mind-style psychosis
  • Mary Ann: Natalie Portman
  • Ginger: Christina Hendricks
  • Thurston P. Howell III: Frank Langella
  • Mrs. Howell: Helen Mirren, though I’m not sure the world is ready for a Mrs. Howell who looks good in a bikini
  • Bonus! Harlem Globetrotters: the Miami Heat

Who would you cast in the dark remake of Gilligan’s Island?

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